Wednesday, November 16, 2005
1 Samuel 1:10
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD."Breakthrough is defined as such by Webster:
1. An offensive thrust that penetrates and carries beyond a defensive line in warfare.
2. An act or instance of breaking through an obstruction.
3. A sudden advance especially in knowledge or technique.
In bitterness of soul I wept much and prayed much to the Lord last night. I questioned much and talked much with my husband last night. I experienced breaththrough. Why is it that we constantly, as Christians, need to be reminded of the spiritual battle we face? For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. -Ephesians 6:12 I suppose I would rather have to be reminded than have forgotten altogether. Nonetheless, God comforted me as tissues piled on our coffee table and weights were lifted off of our chests. I have laid these things at the foot of the cross where they have belonged all along. Patience is being perfected - Wisdom, maturity, and holiness are as well. A phone call from my big sister brought healing and a knowing that things aren't "at my fault" but are rather a plot of the enemy. Simplicity. God uses the simplest things to catapult our emotions. Our family photo. It's beautiful isn't it? It seems a wave of sadness for things that have gone by hit me by surprise after my eyes lingered a little too long at this photo last night. Rachel is so beautiful, she's almost 15 and that's a bit frightening. Gina makes me laugh- I'll miss her giggles. I'll miss kissing Sam's cheeks- yes, he still lets me from time to time, but has to immediately wipe it away of course. I'll miss chasing him for hugs and kisses. I'll miss calling my mother when I'm scared, worried, excited, or sad. So many things that have become constants in my life are being stripped away. I'm an adult and God is using circumstances to grow me, I'm aware of this. But it's hard. It's hard knowing R.Jay and I have to help empty out a home next friday that has become a haven. Sadness is just so terribly...sad.
In all my weakness, in all my imperfections, in all my discouragements... my wonderful Lord and Saviour still uses me. A certain young man has made me realize it isn't even in the things I say or things I try to do, but it lies in simply being... ME. "I am who God has made me to be."- How many times have we heard this repeated, yet it holds a simple and profound message. Somehow in my sinful, stained life of impurities and imperfections God is being seen in me and using me even now. With that comfort I end my thoughts with a smile on my face... and hopefully the Lord's.
Hebrews 12:14 "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord."
Heather Dowling at 12:13 PM
7 Comments
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at 1:09 PM
said... yay i'm the first to comment, it amazes me how we forget that God has made us to be ourselves, and we try to be someone else,or try to be like them, it's awesome putting things at the foot of the cross and crying about it, because it's when we cry that we know it's heart felt, well g2g for now cuz, love ya@};- (if ur wondering what that is, it's a rose)
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at 1:38 PM
said...
Sounds like hard, but good stuff is going on in your cute little home.
It is so sad that your family is moving. I wasn't going to go to church tonight, but now I want to so I can see Rachel. I hope she's there.
And fried food can be just plain yucky. I even had a bad chicken finger experience and always have to talk myself into taking a bite of one - even though I know they'll be good.-
at 9:22 AM
Rose of the Hill said... Thank you for your heart. It blesses me everyday. It is hard to see family go, and not knowing when is the next time you will see them. (Or knowing the in the soon future you will not see them for 4 years). But I am just so happy that God is in control, and that I still have you close by. Maybe we could work out a road trip this spring or summer with the 4 of us to sunny Sanford, NC!!!!!
I LOVE YOU SISTER, I couldn't imagine not having you in my life. You are an amazing woman of God and it strives me to be more holy and obedient to the One who has fashioned this refining family.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO-
at 11:42 AM
Kat said...
See Heidi's blog for my comment...it is for both of you!!!!
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at 12:04 PM
Kat said...
No, no baby yuckies, but still blessed!!!
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at 12:09 PM
said...
so where is the new template?!
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at 1:37 PM
said...
i noticed heather has made a link to my blog with the word man underlined, i just want to let you all know that the post about her is under tims, so ch~check it out, newho g2g, love ya cuz, God Bless, and see you tommorow night at youth group