Monday, November 28, 2005
It Is Well With My Soul
I managed somehow to pull of thanksgiving with the wonderful help of my sister, Heidi, in our small home. I told my husband I officially feel like an adult hosting my family for thanksgiving in our home. Am I really married and grown up? Goodness! The table looked lovely and everyone was moaning and groaning from full bellies at the end. So, I would say it was a success!Friday was hard. Watching strange men load our family belongings into a strange van was a little disheartening. Holding my ten year old brother on empty hard wood floors in an empty living room as we sobbed in each others arms was even harder. Watching Rachel cry with friends and Dad as he wept and hugged with a neighbor was almost too hard to witness. Our home of many years now sits empty and alone until a new young family takes over to fill the emptiness and create new memories in a few weeks. Will another family occupy our home filling it with laughter and tears? It's all a bit much. As I held Samuel, trying to comfort in the midst of my maddness, telling him these are just walls... they could be gone in a moment but your family is strong, secure... I think I was telling myself. Watching him look around as he walked out the door and into the mini van all my mind could relive were the memories in that home. They AREN'T just walls... they are Friday family nights in a big living room, a kitchen that housed many important talks, rooms where we grew behind close doors as the Lord disciplined us. It was a home. OUR home. But now that home lives in our hearts and we carry it with us... between the miles.
Friday night we crammed 9 people into my home for what you might call a "big family slumber party". At 4 in the morning, Saturday, the van drove out of my driveway and safely to North Carolina. I climbed back in bed and sobbed. For hours. Saturday afternoon, Heidi and Joe left. My little house was empty and the sadness crept in. At that moment all I could think was the prayer Pastor Scott Dabe left my family with as 25 people stood holding hands in our abandoned living room friday. "Let your glory be seen in this move, in this family..." And it was that simple. Though I am sad, though I long for them, for visits and chorus concerts and tickle fights... what matters most is His glory. I smile to think they are fulfilling the Lord's glory for their life. That's all I want... just His glory to be seen.
So today... it is well with my soul. My soul yearns to see His kingdom come. Use my family, Father. Use me. Life goes on... with busy schedules and holidays approaching. And visits in the spring to visit my family:) Things are good. God is good. It's all for You.
Heather Dowling at 12:24 PM
14 Comments
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at 12:38 PM
said... My heart breaks for you Heather. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. You are doing a great job focusing on God. I can't wait for Thursday, feel free to come early.
We can chat more then.
love ya sweetie, keep your focus up!-
at 12:48 PM
Rose of the Hill said... I don't wanna cry at work... ;-)
We should plan for the four of us to go soon!! I miss you and we should get together soon.
I LOVE YOU BUNCHES
-Big sis-
at 10:25 PM
Kat said...
I said it before and I will say it again...a good reason to take a visit to the Carolinas!!!
-
at 9:18 AM
Rose of the Hill said...
So I need you to help me. I can't figure out how to post a picture on my blog..... HELP!!!!
I LOVE YOU-
at 12:16 PM
said...
We didn't buy the Polar Express, but I really want to. It is so good. I almost cried at the end.
Hey the day after tomorrow is Thursday!-
at 2:06 PM
Rose of the Hill said...
Hey lady friend. I miss you. How is your day going? I still didn't figure out how to put in the URL for the photo.
I LOVE YOU!!!!-
at 11:46 AM
said...
You only have to bring your lovely self. We may be the ony ones here - no one else has responded so I'm not sure what is going on. I'm going to make your grandmother's cheese ball and I think that's it. Well, probably some Claire cookies also. If its not going to be alot of people, I don't want leftovers!
See you tomorrow!-
at 11:56 AM
said...
yep, I get free stuff depending on how much is purchased at my party. Last year I had one around this time and wound up with $75 of free stuff. That is a lot of candles - but I'm ready for more!! I know you understand, since you are a fellow candle addict.
Hey, did you know that you can use the little tarlet things at work as candles. I had one on a piece of paper, then on top of my printer at the bank. The heat from the printer (or computer) is enough to release the scent. The other tellers all loved it, my station smelled wonderful. You should try it.-
at 1:12 PM
Lore Ferguson said...
heather that was the most beautiful thing you've written. really really beautiful. isn't it cool how the deepest emotions bring out the best in us?
in case it's of any interest -- north carolina's not that from me. about an hour actually. well, to the border at least. anyway. we could meet up or something when you come for a visit.
fun fun fun.-
at 1:44 PM
said...
No not tealights, tartlets. I spelled it wrong in my last post. The little disks without a wick, that melt when you put them over a heat sorce - usually a tealight.
You should try it.
I am also a delf-proclaied candle addict. I guess we'll get our fix tomorrow night!-
at 10:54 AM
said...
You can totally takea catalog home with you for work tomorrow. I won't close the sale until the middle of next week, probably Tuesday or Wednesday. The only trick will then be getting the order forms back to me, so I can turn them all into Sandi. You could mail them to me, as long as all the tax and shipping is calculated right. We can have Sandi show you how to do the order forms tonight, so you can do any that may come in from your office.
This was a long comment. We can chat more about it tonight. Yay we get to see eachother today! I already made the cheeseball, hope I did your grandmother proud ;-)-
at 12:46 PM
said...
That's fine with me. You could just skip the food, if you think you can make it here. There will be plenty to eat - I'm pretty sure its just going to be me, you and Sandi!
The girls are excited to see you. Hopefully that means they will keep their toy room clean!-
at 1:10 PM
said...
so how many comments do you think we can get if we just keep talking? this is almost like IM - only without the cheesy icons.
okay my house is pretty messy and i still have to bake some claire cookies, so guess i'd better go. at leas for a little while!-
at 10:11 AM
said...
Yeah, me too. The other night I was crying in my sleep because I was dreaming that we seen eachother. We were sitting there holding eachother saying "you have no idea how much I missed you!"