Thursday, December 15, 2005
More Than Enough
It seems I haven't put my thoughts down here for quite some time now. A lot has taken place and many things have been altered in this life of constant change.Monday night the strength I built up since my family left was broken just a bit. R.Jay and I ventured out in the cold to pick up a few things in the big green empty house. The coldness and the silence was a little nauseating. Of course, I had to add to the sting of sadness by walking through each and every room. Each room played visions in my mind of memories of childhood and growing into a woman. I envisioned my sisters at the Piano with white lights and garland sparkling on top of it. This house, this shell, was something I dreamed my babies would crawl around in and Christmas time would be the same-always. Now, new memories will be formed in new houses. New traditions will begin and new Christmas decorations will hang in new places. He makes all things new. His mercies are new every morning. Newness isn't so bad. Just a bit scary sometimes. So, my friends, I think I've cried my last tears in a victorian on Elizabeth Street.
Our Wednesday night discipleship course that Pastor Kevin has implemented is going well. We're learning and digging and rejoicing all together and it's nice.
Tomorrow will be our church's Christmas Program complete with a skit from Bill and Andy (my husband and his friend) that I've been so anxiously awaiting. Our youth group has a skit to perform and singing and poetry will bless our little Adirondack area. Saturday we'll go to yet another wedding and Sunday brings my father-in-law's birthday and a visit to my husband's grandmother's for a little fiesta. Everyone keeps saying "It's just the season that brings the business. It will pass". Not for us. It's always busy. Christmastime never went this fast when I was a kid. Then again, every day didn't necessarily go this fast when I was a kid either.
Each morning when I wake up I pray for emptiness. I stumble to the shower and release my own personal desires, needs, and ambitions until I am an empty vessel. And then it comes. The overflowing joy of being a child of God. Being stretched, being broken, being ruined for Him and for more of Jesus in my life - in my very soul. Every day I find myself more and more excited to do His will. Everyday I find myself more and more in love with Him. So when I think of these days that seem to fly by so fast. It's all okay when I think that each one that passes brings me closer to doing His will, closer to being with Him, and so much more in love with God. I've learned (and some days the hard way) that though I believe there may be so many things I want or need the only thing that matters is my need for Him. I want Christ and that's sufficient for me. His love is more than enough for me.
Every day with you Lord
Is sweeter than the day before
Heather Dowling at 10:27 AM
12 Comments
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at 12:14 PM
Kat said... Very nice....I understand how you feel with the family being gone, mine's not so far away, but some of them might as well be as I never see them!!! They all know we love them though and that's what counts most!!!
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at 12:16 PM
said... Yep, I send her your address. So what do you think about the candles? Sounds like your weekend is pretty packed - but you work all next week, right? Maybe we could meet somewhere for a cup of coffee, in the Goveneur area. Is there anywhere to have a nice cup of coffee in Goveneur?! Probably not! Call me later tonight, if you want to try and figure this all out.
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at 3:14 PM
said...
Do you want to pick the candles up over the weekend or do you want to meet in Goveneur next week sometime? Sorry that first comment was so confusing. It sounds fun to me to meet up and have coffee, but I would probably have the girls with me.
Oh and I've got a recipe for you. Go to allrecipes.com and search for artichoke-spinach spread in wonton cups - oh my gosh! Its so good. If you can't find it let me know, I can send you the link.-
at 3:49 PM
said...
I am serving those at the party. The filling is fantastic.
As for this weekend, we are leaving at 5:30am on Saturday and won't be back until Monday afternoon. If you wanted to come to Canton and pick them up, I would leave them somewhere where you could get them. If you didn't want to come here we could meet up some evening next week, but that makes for a really long day for you.
I don't know. Whatever you think, I will do.-
at 1:49 PM
said...
heres a link with the contact info - no webpage, just a phone #
http://www.google.com/local?hl=en&hs=Dhe&lr=&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&q=oakland+seashore+cabins+%26+motel&near=Rockport,+ME+04856&sa=X&oi=locald&radius=0.0&latlng=44188787,-69090114,3918448833021908624-
at 1:51 PM
said...
okay maybe that won't work. search google for oakland seashore cabins and motel rockland maine
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at 2:00 PM
Rose of the Hill said...
Are you serious. And there is absolutely NOTHING you can do????!!!
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at 3:01 PM
Rose of the Hill said...
I'm sorry, is that ok for you to do that?
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at 7:27 AM
said...
hey lady -
I'm home and I have your candles. I'm not sure how we are going to do this. You are welcome to come out here any time, of course, for dinner or dessert. We'll be in Ogdensburg for Lael's skit practice on WEdnesday night. So we have tonight and Thursday night free. hmmm...this is going to be difficult, I think!-
at 9:10 AM
Rose of the Hill said...
K, well I really hope you can get it off. And let me know as soon as possible so I can let my work know that I need it off.
Thanks Heath.
Oh and what time are you and RJay going to be home on Christmas so that Joe and I know what time to be at your house!
I love you! :-)-
at 9:12 AM
said...
I'll have to talk to Josh and see what we can do. Will Goveneur work for you?
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at 12:23 PM
said...
The girls are doing well. Its been a whirlwind weekend, so they are catching up on relax time, trying out new toys and just generally chilling out.
We can figure out a time and place tomorrow for Thursday night. Were you going to come with R.Jay or just straight from work? I don't know what Josh will want to do. He's finishing up a project and that can mean long hours. I'll let you know tomorrow.