Thursday, February 02, 2006
a daughter's cry
I miss her.I miss her smell...
that fragrance that lingered after she left my bedroom or as she passed me in the hall.
I miss her giggle and the way she told stories...
just like grandma.
I miss the way her hugs felt...
perfect.
I miss each kiss on the cheek after her embrace and the way she would run her fingers through my hair and tear up each time she told me how much she loved me.
I MISS MY MOM.
This morning a song came on the radio and reminded me of great days growing up with my mother cleaning or cooking dinner and singing as sweet as ever...
Sing your Praise to the Lord
Come on everybody
Stand up and sing one more, Hallelujah
Give your praise to the Lord
I could never tell you just how much
Good that it's bound to do you
Just to sing...
(oh yeah- every one of you were just singing that little melody and bouncing with Rich Mullins and Amy Grant like you were 8 again - admit it.)
My mother would sing this chorus over and over again with joy abounding. It was so fun.
More than anything today I miss her encouragement. I miss hearing "everything is going to be Okay Heather- God loves you". I want to feel her hug me and run her hands through my hair. I want to bury myself in her sleeve and breath deep. *sigh* soon I will and probably cry at the sweetness of it all.
If I become just a small glimpse of my mother I'll be joyful. I want to hug my kids and with just that one act let them know a thousand words. Moms are good like that and mine is the best. I'm so thankful God thought up this wonderful little thing called the family and encouraged us to honor our parents throughout our life. I'm so glad He gave mothers a torch to pass on and I hope I can carry it just as strong. I suppose today is one of those days (being three days away from my 1 year wedding anniversary) that I realize I'm not her little girl anymore. But I can still pretend sometimes right :)?
You're missed. But you're loved even more.
Heather Dowling at 1:21 PM
6 Comments
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at 3:08 PM
Kat said... Miles never seperate love. And yes....11:00am.....it's overdue!!! LOL!!!
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at 3:09 PM
Kat said...
P.S. Actually was 5 when that song came out, and I am 5 years older than you, so your family must not have updated their music collection that often.....LOL!!!
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at 4:03 PM
Rose of the Hill said...
That was awesome. I miss her too very much. Especially now! Please, Pray for me Heather, I went to the Dr's today and I have to get ultrasounds done because the Dr. "found" something in my left thing (you know) and I have to get a pelvic one to because I have been extremly irregular.
I miss you-
at 4:45 PM
Kat said...
I will pray for you too Heidi!!! Heather....I meant that that song was older than when you were young, which makes me old!!! Yes, Rich Mullins never does go out of style!!!
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at 7:20 PM
said... Heather, you've overwhelmed me and you've brought such joy to my heart! I find it SOOOO hard to believe that anyone could feel that way about me or that I've ever left any kind of positive impact on anyone's life.
I miss you too Heather Feather, desparately-can't wait to hug you again!!
I must tend to Heidi now.....
I LOVE YOU!!!
Mom-
at 8:30 AM
said...
sure! Just knwo that I'll put you to work...