Tuesday, February 13, 2007
as always
The rings on my left hand slide off so easily these days.At 11 weeks pregnant I wore a dress size smaller to church on Sunday.
After 4 weeks of no fellowship with my church family, yesterday was a blessing.
A white bucket sits near our couch at all times and you won't usually find me too far from one of our bathrooms.
In order to keep food in my tummy, medication is needed.
Our bedroom is now a make-shift bedroom in the future nursery and there is sheet rock and tools lining the upstairs hallways, along with bathroom tile stacked in the living room and the majority of our belongings crammed into the guestroom. Construction is underway.
Tears come easy these days. I suppose I could blame it on hormones, constant vomiting, or even the dreaded construction that surrounds me. (And believe me... often times I've taken the route of blaming the chaos.) But I'm selfish. I'm wrong. I'm a sinner. I've learned so much about little old me in the last month and a half, and have wondered if God is as disappointed in me as much as I am.
Lying in bed a few nights ago a song was irritatingly going around and around in my head. Phil Joel came out with a song a couple of years ago called "God is watching over you" and in my opinion it became overplayed... fast. Of course since this song wasn't something I fancied all that much... my mind memorized it.
So in bed after hours on hours of vomiting, crying, and asking, these lyrics rang true:
God is watching over you
As always
You are loved
Whatever you go through,
He's right beside you
God is watching over you
As always
And if you think He'll ever leave you,
You better thing again
So once again it was all very simple. I was doing this on my own, not understanding His purposes behind it. Failing to realize He's so much bigger, so much more loving, and so THERE than I realize. His mercies really are new every morning... as always.
Heather Dowling at 1:12 PM
3 Comments
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at 3:59 PM
Darlene Sinclair said... I didn't realize you were expecting - hooray! Good news in spite of these days and weeks of yucky feelings. Congratulations!
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at 5:05 PM
said... Poor Heather! I'm so sorry you're sick. It's pretty hard to keep it in perspective when you don't feel pregnant, you just feel gross. But I'm sure your wonderful husband reminds you that there's a baby, even when you sort of forget!
You sound much more sick than I was, although I didn't exactly have a picnic! My only "trick" was to sleep lots in the morning! I would set my alarm as usual, eat breakfast (mini-wheats were my friend), wait as long as I could to digest, and then crash on the couch. I couldn't believe how many hours of sleep I put in!
And then one magical morning, I felt good!
I really enjoyed Allison. Are you doing the group care thing or private? I ended up doing group, even though at first I wasn't sure, and ir was fun. You hear lots of encouraging stories, and being surrounded by positive, confident moms for nine months really helps prepare for birth. Very..."empowering", to use a very new-age, midwife-ish word. :) (the only drawback...)-
at 10:20 PM
said...
So sorry you're feeling so awful. I, too, am experiencing the "things are bigger on me" stuff-- but it's really due to being sick more than anything. My throwing up has been very much a pregnancy-related weak gag-reflex, but I think now that I'm feeling better in general, the nausea will return to what I'm used to: a yucky feeling that really doesn't interfere altogether too much with regular life (not when compared to many others, like you). Prayerfully, your sickness will be confined to trimester #1-- which you're quickly coming to an end of!
How do you like Allison? I am considering switching to her, since I wanted her with Jack in the first place but she wasn't taking any more patients delivering in Jan when I moved up here. But since meeting her in person, I wasn't sure I really liked her. (That's awful to say, I know...) But I'm anxious to hear other opinions, as I realize that sometimes first impressions aren't always true.