Thursday, October 30, 2008
heartbeats
Yesterday this little family piled into the car and into the snow for my first ultrasound of baby #2. While the idea of having an extra ultrasound wasn't really in my goal plan for this pregnancy, by the time we left that little room I was grateful. I'll be honest, I haven't been as excited as I suppose I should be so far this pregnancy. Terrible morning sickness, unbearable headaches, and exhaustion not just from physical things but medicine (that is supposed to help) had me feeling more like a suffering victim that a jubilant mama-again-to-be. Leaving the hospital, after noting the little peanut growing so perfectly, I felt the needed "umph" to push through and the joy of a life growing inside me.At one point the technician commented on the healthy heartbeat at 175bmp. My eyes actually filled up, and not for the reasons I thought they would. It just dawned on me, overwhelmingly so, that at just 8 weeks pregnant many women have aborted their babies. Babies with strong, healthy, living heartbeats. How on earth can someone not call that a life? With the election approaching and the candidates on so opposite sides of this issue, it just broke my heart to think of all lives that will be silenced with a Democrat in the White House. Little lives with real heartbeats. So we're praying much, these days, for the election, and praying for the biggest issues. Like little heartbeats.
***EDIT: An absolute must-read.
Heather Dowling at 11:15 AM
Thursday, October 23, 2008
requests
This whole pregnancy thing is so much harder than I remember. Could 1 year of a sweet baby girl really make forget how terrible pregnancy is on my body? Yes, I think so.I go to bed at night not at all anticipating the next morning. Sometimes I wish I could just skip it, but that seems ridiculous since it isn't just the morning, its every single second of the day with a few periods of "relief" here and there.
I know, I'm complaining... and its terrible. So, can we just make this post a prayer request? Not only for my nauseated self, but for my selfish self? Thanks.
Oh...and here is my request for tips, advice, etc.? :
My 13 month old daughter only takes one 45 minute nap a day and that seems like far too little to me. Especially considering she wakes up still fussing and it is obvious she isn't rested. Is this normal? How on earth do I get her to rest more?
Heather Dowling at 2:26 PM
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Baby #2
There's no keeping a secret when it comes to pregnancy for me. Second time around is showing that I'll be vomiting incessantly again. Or at least so far. So I pretty much drop off the face of my world for awhile. Nevertheless, we're thrilled and still trying to wrap our minds around the idea of Annabelle no longer being the baby, but instead a big sister.
Wow.
Heather Dowling at 6:29 PM
Thursday, October 02, 2008
a little prayer for a little more patience
A yellow toy spoon found no where near a little toy kitchen.Packing a little book or two for a day out tomorrow.
Hair ties and bows in bathrooms and bedrooms.
My living room slowly turning into more of a playroom.
Puzzles, baby dolls, blocks, diapers, and tiny shoes.
Just some of the little reminders of the little girl who occupies my days with me and fills our evenings with laughter and sweetness. Just some of the little reminders of the goodness of God in our life. Oh Lord, may I never complain while picking up those toy cups over and over, and reading that same book for the eighth time in a row. May I always count it a joy when she wants me, just to want me, for no other reason than love... even if the phone is ringing and that pot is boiling over. May I remain strong in keeping God before me in all her little ears hear from me and all my lips and hands teach her growing mind. Oh Lord, grant me patience for the big job ahead of me.
Today was a real"mom" day for me. You know, the one that challenged your patience beyond some kind of "normal", and the one you feel you've failed miserably at. Yeah. Maybe it was just a "human" day for me.
A small burst of sunshine this afternoon drew us outdoors in hats and coats to crunch some leaves. As Annabelle walked (yes, she's walking) up and down the driveway, picking up beautiful leaves only to let them fall, she found one small leaf to claim as her own. Not only was this leaf small, but it was pretty pitiful looking. It wasn't colorful and wasn't beautiful, but her little hands wouldn't let go... all the way in to the house. Later looking at that sad leaf on the counter I couldn't help but think of the way the Lord looked at me today. Yes, in moments I'm sure I looked quite pitiful and my color for life had been pushed away in the heat of selfishness. Yet, he chose me. He grabbed me today, in the midst of a windy, rainy, and cold day in my heart. While I'm sure he could have chose to care less about this ridiculous looking one, instead his eyes fell on me.
I love that even though I feel undone, I've never been more put together, through brokenness, in Christ.
Heather Dowling at 8:57 PM