Friday, October 28, 2005
Peer Pressure
I've been tagged. And since everyone's doing it, i'll follow the bandwagon.Five random thoughts about me:
1. I eat cheese like it's never going to be available anymore. It's scary.
2. I get sad when the weather hits above 75 degrees. I hate heat.
3. I still scare myself when I look in the mirror and see that my hair is not flowing down my back but just above my neckline. I'm weird. You'd have to realize that I've had long long hair for almost 20 years of my life until a few months ago.
4. I'm 21. And that scares me. Yes yes, i'm young. But wasn't I just 16 the other day?
5. Does everyone remember Snuggle? The brand of laundry detergent, dryer sheets, etc.? Remember the little bear? Well I had about 8 of those in different sizes. I still have one. He's in my basement. He's adorable, but a little ruined with 21 years of cuddling.
I have tagged Heidi, Rachel, Kathy, MaryAnn, and Rushteen. I'm done.
Now that this is done....
Does anyone suffer from migranes besides me? Yesterday I missed work because my brain decided to shoot unbelieable pain through my head and neck. I couldn't get out of bed needless to say and I have some of my own remedies but other suggestions would be greatly appreciated for relief.
It's friday already! Tomorrow evening is our annual Dowling teaparty with all the females of the Dowling clan! This should be interesting! Last year was hilarious and this year should beat it.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
Heather Dowling at 10:35 AM
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Strength
The Joy of the Lord is our Strength.I need to repeat that to myself today- it's hectic, and i'm not feeling well - at all.
That's all I feel like saying, and frankly... have time for today!
But thanks for listening:)
Heather Dowling at 1:04 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Food For Thought
There may be a time for everything... I just wish I could find time.Life's been busy but I'm still here.
Last night I sat down and read "Then Sings My Soul" (as my diligent husband studied his course material that we've now received, praise the Lord). This is a book of hymns and their origins. It seems that after reading a few of my favorites, the songs are put into a completely different light. Those hymns I liked, I now love. The author has the ability to give you the perfect details to put you right next to these wonderful men like the actual St. Patrick or Charles Wesley as they discover these "thoughts and praises", now our beloved hymns. I closed my eyes and sang those that I read up on. God is powerful and loving and these men knew it. It's just beautiful.
I tend to read too many books at one period of time. It's a bad habit, but my mind can comprehend so I don't try to explain myself to people anymore. Currently the list includes these:
Then Sings My Soul (Robert J. Morgan)
Helen Keller: The Story of My Life
That None Should Perish (Ed Silvoso)
Basic Discipleship (Floyd McClung)
True Believer (Nicholas Sparks)
I didn't realize Helen Keller didn't loose her sight until after she was 19 months old. In her story she tells of how she was learning the word "water" and knew what trees and flowers looked like. The colors, smells, sights and sounds were depicted more beautiful then I could ever tell you - and I'm not blind and deaf. Something to think about huh? Makes me realize I"m taking for granted some of the beauty God has put on this earth. Sara Groves sings a song title "Maybe There's A Loving God". In it a verse says this: "maybe this was made for me, for lying on my back in the middle of a field, maybe that's a selfish thought, but maybe there's a loving God." Perhaps, just perhaps these beautiful leaves, the flowers, the sunsets or rainbows are just part of God giving His kids some beauty. Why not.
Heather Dowling at 12:27 PM
Thursday, October 20, 2005
November 5, 2005 at 1:00pm
For those of you who received something from me regarding the date and time above... Feel free to RSVP right here on my blog:)I hope to see you all there!!!
Heather Dowling at 2:40 PM
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Surrender
Remember SurrenderRemember the rest
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest
And realizing that it's not up to you and it never was
Remember surrender
Remember relief
Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks
As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in
I want to do that again
Why can't I live there And make my home
In sweet surrender I want to do so much more than remember...
"Why can't I live there and make my home" Does anyone else's heart ache in that line other than mine? Why is it so hard to CONTINUALLY be in that moment? Heaven will be perfect; all time will be focused on Him. How wonderful will that be?
Empty me Father. Fill me with only You. I surrender to YOUR will.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:3
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It's October 19th. Do you realize this? That means 2005 is almost over. Didn't it just start? It can't possibly be that this year has been so busy because of my life being completely altered with marriage (praise God), because others seem to think that it's just a little crazy that Christmas is just over two months away. Yikes.
Our church is grieving this week at the loss of Allen Coon. Although I didn't know him well, my heart weeps with those who are weeping. But I'm confident in this... Allen is with the most perfect and holy God and there's peace in the sadness with that thought.
I've begun to despise the news. As R.Jay and I turn on the television (rarely) and watch a simple 6 0'clock news program I find it hard to believe that there cannot be SOMETHING remotely good that they could broadcast. Everything spewing is of the horrific things we as Americans are doing in our country. Someone please give me some hope.
These are apparently some of the random thoughts from my day so far. Each day I must surrender. Each day I must remember that I've surrendered.
Have you seem my photos lately?
Heather Dowling at 12:09 PM
Monday, October 17, 2005
The Call
A call has been spoken, a mandate has been issued, God has spoken, we have heard, and now it begins.When R.Jay and I agreed to join our pastor and fellow leaders from Cornerstone Christian Fellowship Center on a trip to Pittsburgh, PA to celebrate with Pastor Dudley Mays in their church's anniversary we couldn't have been happier to bless another congregation. The opposite occurred. We were blessed beyond compare. Of course, the servanthood of the men and women of that church was astounding but what was more amazing was the blessing God gave us. He spoke. His word came through a wonderful man of God, Dennis Cramer, and made us weep tears of joy.
The most holy God has spoken things into existence to come that we couldn't have imagined. God sees, and we don't, and there is something so perfectly comfortable about that. Change will be taken place soon. Moves will be made.... and names will be picked out. Yes, I said names. "Start picking names out - a pregnancy is imminent. The Lord heals you today of the infirmaties that have plagued your body."
I'm ready for change. God has called us to it and we're ready. We're stepping out and stepping up and it couldn't be more exciting.
As you could probably assume by now... Pittsburgh was incredible. The ministry was powerful, the food was delicious ( and way off the diet), and the friendships and laughs were hilarious! Of course, shopping was included and just a bit too much Starbucks.
Now it's time to unpack, do laundry, prepare for youth friday and the bake sale all the while my husband pumps insulation into the walls of our little home we rent. Yikes. I can see the messes already and if you know me in any capacity... Messes and me don't do well.
But I'll be paitent and kind and loving - I promise.
Heather Dowling at 12:28 PM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Well I'm Off...
Tomorrow we leave at 8am for Pittsburgh, PA. I don't usually get excited for small trips but I'm completely thrilled for this one. God is equipping me and training us as a couple and our church for something huge. How could I not be overwhelmingly thrilled? Besides the fact I have three days of being ministered to by great men of God and get to enjoy each moment with my bestfriend ( my hubby) right by my side all weekened!!!Well it's Breast Cancer Awarness month so I've learned and that is most likely the reason for the beautiful pink carnation that was left in my car Monday. I think I try to live in an idealist's world.
I've realized, last night, that one of my most favorite things to do is enjoy a good cup of coffee and a great conversation with my mother-in-law. She's just wonderful! She's a patient woman of God and her faith sometimes makes me realize I'm not stepping out enough. I love being challenged.
I got a pumpkin muffin at Dunkin Donuts that is beckoning me....
Heather Dowling at 12:59 PM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
BRRRR
I'm freezing. My fingers are colorless & my rings are falling off. If it wasn't for the cute pregnant girl that sits 5ft from me in this office I would be turning on the heat. But because she is pregnant and sweats at the slightenest warmth for the next 5 months, I'll give her some grace.I made apple dumplings last night. So fun.
I have a fun story ( or creepy). I took my car to Fuccillo Mitsubishi Monday. After an hour of waiting, my patience was thinning and I began to complain under my breath. Then he came. "You're all set - sorry for the wait, your car is out this way." FINALLY! - I thought. I hopped into my mitsubishi lancer and to my surprise a pink carnation was staring back at me. After telling Jackie of this story I've come to this conclusion: Either I have secret admirer at Fuccillo Mitsubishi or perhaps the Lord was perfection my patience in my time of selfishness. Hmmm?
I love autumn. I love that I have a wise husband who is preparing our home for a cold winter.
I need more coffee...
Heather Dowling at 12:25 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Nothing Is Beyond You
I can't stop listening to this song. Rich Mullins, wow. I have yet to make it through this song this week tearless. I should write Pslam 139 on my heart. I'm not alone, and although He's proved that hundreds of times, why is it hard for this girl who knows His grace all to well to get it through her head, and her heart?God has been good to R.Jay and I today, yet again. This morning R.Jay's employer informed him that the company my husband works for is paying for ALL of his expenses in the training R.Jay requested to further his career. This is unbelievable considering it's the first time the company has ever provided this for an employee. The books are ordered and charged to the company and not us. Praise the Lord! As we venture out in running our own business God is definately showing His confirmation to the words and desires that are in our hearts. These courses will enable R.Jay to do so much more in his field!
My home was filled with the aroma of pumpkin spice & vanilla nut last night....mmmmmm. As well as being clean once again after such a crazy weekend. Laundry is beginning to get caught up and the house looks absolutely cozy once again... until we return from Pittsburgh on Sunday evening. More pictures were hung up on the wall in places I've been waiting for: A graduation picture of my niece, Jessyca; A four-month-old picture of my niece, Riley; an "engagement" picture of my sister-in-law, Rushteen & Gary; and a picture of my sister & husband, Heidi & Joe. This completes the beautiful display of my beautiful family on our wall that includes sisters & brothers, parents, siblings... this list goes on.
After our plates were empty my husband and I sat at the dining room table last night relishing in the greatness of our God. We looked around at the home He has provided us and so much more. In that silence we worshiped the God who supplies all our needs and in that moment with only a smile we both knew there was nothing to worry about as the plans unfolded for the future. We serve such a loving Lord and I know He has us in the palm of His hands. If only for a moment I begin to doubt, the Lord is quick to remind me where I've come from in the last 2 years, and then... the tears of joy come.
Heather Dowling at 12:34 PM
Monday, October 10, 2005
The Fruit of the Spirit
What fruit am I bearing today Lord?Monday has come yet again. This time it's refreshing. After a busy weekend and hardly anytime with my hubby, this week promises a little more quietness in the evenings before we pick up the hectic hat all over again and head of to Pittsburgh, PA friday morning at "8:00am sharp!" as Pastor Kevin gently reminded us Sunday morning. ( I think that was for you Kat). Denny Cramer ( mind my spelling - i'm unsure how he spells his last name) will be there and I'm getting more and more excited each day. I've heard so much about him and it'll be great to be under his ministry for a weekend. Pastor Kevin encouraged us with a little humor "If you breathe, i'm sure he'll have a word for you."
God had given me a blessing in disguise. A certain someone has become something special... a friend. Despite all of our differences the Lord who has our hairs numbered and our days planned has given me the gift of friendship in my time of lonliness. He loves me.
This morning I looked at the very first Pslam and it became my prayer. May I be that tree firmly planted by streams of living water! Pastor spoke on love the last couple of Sundays. I'm beginning to view 1Cor 13 in a new light. I want each virtue to be stamped all over me. I want people to see love pouring off of me in a way no one has witnessed before. I want to surrender to His perfect love and through this may the fruit of the spirit be my joy and pouring out from my very existence.
One sentence has been echoing in my ears for the last month:
AM I WALKING IN THE LIGHT THAT HE HAS CALLED ME TO?
Heather Dowling at 12:09 PM
Friday, October 07, 2005
Confessions
I fear the unknown. Whether it be good, bad, or indifferent - I'm scared.A hundred verses swarm my mind but I'm not comforted.
That's not normal.
Will I have peace soon Lord?
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It's friday. That means I have two days to spend with the best person I know, my husband. Youth group pizza sale deliveries and moving friends into new homes will flood our weekend but knowing I get to stand beside him each day is the best feeling in the world. Waking up to run this race with R.jay each moring is such a joy and I try to treasure each memory, each moment. Sometimes I miss him even when we're sitting next to each other. It's crazy how much God allows me to love this man. It's wonderful and I don't deserve it. Yet, in God's perfect plan he knew just who would be waiting for me for all these years to completely help me in my walk with the Lord and through this mess called life. He left me a note this morning. I keep each one you know. How could I not? They're each so special.
Youth group is tonight. I'm getting exited each week that passes. God is doing something and soon I know I'll feel at home. "Give it time" everyone says. I'm trying. God knows what's best and that is all I need to know. Why am I aching for more?
I suppose it's time to stop confessing and begin praying. I suppose I should have been doing that all along, but thanks for listening.
Heather Dowling at 12:35 PM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
CHANGE
"The way it always was is no longer good enough"Driving into work this morning this line from the song "Brave" by Nicole Nordeman echoed in my brain. "It isn't good enough anymore Lord is it? The way we all lived isn't going to cut it?" I thought to myself. Chris' choice effected hundreds of people if not more. The overwhelming sadness I'm soaking in is forcing me to look at the life I'm living for God. It hurts. The knowing my passion for Him is no longer good enough. I realize He is calling me for more, and I'm so glad because I'm hungry for so much more than this.
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." 1Cor. 2:9
* How exciting!
If I could ever express myself to Kathy Moulton what her words on Saturday afternoon did for me without sobbing all over her I would. Although, because I'm a bag of emotions I wouldn't get it out. The grace of God that covered such a wonderful woman of God that day and the previous days was so intense and so beautiful. We serve such a benevolent Lord. How could we not surrender to Him?
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2Cor. 12:9
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I'm not really sure how to go into something else after pouring out my heart and thoughts previously but I just have to say YAY for Kathy Owens on blog now! You'll have to give me the address you're at because I can't get into your blog.
CHANGE IS GOOD
Heather Dowling at 12:13 PM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Little Angels
http://flickr.com/photos/73564718@N00/43806629/I love these girls.
Heather Dowling at 1:02 PM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
No Baby On Board
At the mere mention of the word "baby" from my lips (or typing rather) and 30% of the north country leaps to their feet to ask me if I'm pregnant.Jackie: "Your sister wrote 'are you pregnant', oh my gosh, are you pregnant, are you pregnant?"
This is how rumors begin. :)
I would think you'd all be wise enough to know that if I really were there's no chance you'd hear about it on my blog first. I'm sure you do know, especially those family and close friends. Although, we're not blessed with a baby yet. God's timing is perfect, I am sure of this, and that is what I rest in... His perfection. Don't misunderstand... there are tears and times of "WHY!?" but deep in my heart I trust.
After I spoke with Jackie yesterday and my husband when I got home I've been thinking about the call that God has put on us all through the ministry Chris has passed on. I think about my daily routines, the life we live in our small town and our small church. My heart aches for more. The Lord has set eternity in my heart and every day of my life will be spent with that in mind. I hunger to do more, to experience more, and to reach for the call that God is calling me to. He has so much more in store for us than we could ever imagine. Am I walking in the light that God has called me to? Am I passionate for Christ like the life Christopher lived - walking in each day with excitment and fervency? May we all be remembered and honored as he was. May we all reach Christ on that day and have Him look at us with love and say "in you I am well pleased". I'm thirsty for more of Him. I want the VICTORY.
Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it, but one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is head. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Heather Dowling at 12:31 PM
Monday, October 03, 2005
His mercies are new every morning
It's Monday. The weekend is over and friends that came from afar are now leaving. I wonder if my sorrow is deeper even now. It's time to move on with life... but how???????ABUNDANTLY
I thank Jackie Card for including John 10:10 in her blog yesterday. God is calling us to pick up a fallen torch and carry our own we've so easily put aside as well. I believe He is calling us to do it in abundance. Life is different now it's safe to say. Today will not be the same -we have Christopher Ray Moulton whispering in our ears. ALL THE GLORY BE TO GOD.
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On a lighter subject (if possible)... Yesterday was our Guevara/Dowling apple picking day! It was an adventure to say the least. My mother once again came across as my hero as she dealt with the hustle & bustle of raising teenagers and a rather VIBRANT young 10-year old by herself as my couragous father trusts in the Lord every day in making a life for his family in North Carolina. *SIGH* it was exhausting - i'll be honest, but I had a great time and can't wait to begin turning my bags of apples into pies, dumplings, and anything else I can come up with in the next couple weeks. Starting tonight our little home will be filled with the warmth and smell of apple pie. A nice treat my husband can come home to after hunting. (I still don't understand that sport - oh well.) Autumn is here and I couldn't be more delighted. For all that now me, summers are torchure and when fall finally arrives I am in my glory! Now for the beautiful SNOW! The trees (or what is left of them after our crazy wind/rain storms) are finally turning into the bold colors I look forward to all year round. Praise the Lord for such a majestic view of colors that surround me every morning when I awake. :)
Heather Dowling at 12:20 PM